Passing letters to ex via solicitor?

My wife has made it clear she doesn't want me to contact her directly, only through her solicitor.

However there are some personal points I wish to put directly to her and writing to the solicitor "please ask Sarah to consider.." seems impersonal and lacks connection (Not her real name).

Would it be considered bad to write a letter to her and pass that via the solicitor (they can read it I don't care)? Would a solicitor even agree to it?
I can of course email or write her directly but I would rather follow her wishes, I can imagine how stressful it is to see that notification or open an envelope, so her solicitor can act as a buffer.

Thanks

What sort of personal points?
If she has indicated that she doesn’t want any contact be careful that you don’t enter into a course of conduct that could be deemed as harassment.

Not hugely experienced (entering fourth year of proceedings overall), but if it helps I raised a similar point at our last hearing, which the judge effectively just shrugged at.

Brief circ’s are that two years ago, ex petitioned a specific issue order to relocate children. In doing so made several vexatious entries on the 1A (ticked just about every box) but then at first hearing declined to litigate on any of them, so all were discontinued at that point. Ex still refers back to some of those points though in refusing to communicate directly. Ex’s contact took a downturn at final hearing for that matter in which ex was refused leave to relocate the children.

Court later mandated contact through an app back in the spring. Ex used it initially but when a further interim hearing didn’t go ex’s way, ex refused to maintain contact and now messages are sent by ex’s partner. Those messages became antagonistic quickly and I raised the point at a subsequent hearing - the prior order stated both parents to communicate via the app. Judge (recorder, for what it’s worth) just shrugged and said “well, they can’t be forced”. So we’re stuck in a loop of the ex/their partner making petty actions by the absolute letter of the residence order now (50/50 shared care bar eldest who is with me full-time) and it feels like I’m shouting in to the void because it seems there is no-one interested in listening to what is happening.

We are still awaiting an FDR for financial separation which I had to petition for because of the same lack of contact - this will be in January - but the contact remains selective and I have had the occasional snipe back to not make direct contact by email. Im happy I’m on solid ground because the order directs certain things to be submitted by each party to each other at certain times, but as WPSPECIAL says, just be careful of overstepping where there are boundaries set - the law on harassment as a criminal offence is quite vague and ‘harassment, alarm or distress’ required is quite easily made out.

For what it’s worth, some of the best advice I’ve had over the years is that you can’t change their mind. Not matter what’s gone on (and I’ve covered some ground, believe me), you are both in an adversarial scenario and I’d wager there’s very little chance of whatever that personal letter contains hitting home. Probably better to go through the solicitor with instructions to pass it on and put the onus on them. Best of luck, though.

Thanks.

Yeah I just don't know whether to act a bit like in PMQs where all questions are technically addressed to the Speaker.

It could be less personal - that might be both a good or bad thing as it could also remove antagonism.

I think on reflection I will direct all my points to the solicitor "I'd like her to consider..." to avoid that issue. I wouldn't say we are that adversarial but it can easily go that way. I suppose holding it at arms length can help but also depersonalises what is, ultimately 2 people trying to reach an agreement (we both want to get it finished, neither wishes to draw it out)

Have you considered going to mediation to help you work through a settlement between you? It may be worth suggesting this rather than racking up solicitor's bills.

Hadenoughnow