Financial settlement open proposal

Hi all,

I am looking for some advice regarding financial settlement and what offer I should make to my ex as I am required to make an open proposal.

I will try to provide all necessary info.

Ex and I both aged 45

Together 20 years, married 15

2 children, one aged 15, full time homeschooled
13 year old, special needs, full time at home due to lack of specialist education

Both children live with me. 15 year old spends every other weekend with ex and half of school holidays. 13 year old has barely seen him for the last 4 months and is with me the majority of the time and very dependent on me.

My income:

£764 per month interim spousal maintenance
£285 per week child maintenance
£345 per month DLA for 13 year old
£76 per week carers allowance
£100 per month ad hoc dog walking

Ex is a partner in a limited company and earns in excess £120k if you include dividends.
The business was started and grown during the last 7 years of the marriage and is now successful. (Ex also worked full time, therefore I took care of house and kids evenings, weekends, holidays).

My outgoings will be:

£820 mortgage (ex still pays in the interim)
£500 utilities
£500 homeschooling costs
£135 council tax
£80 car tax and insurance
£60 pet expenses (we have 20+ pets which we had pre divorce)

his outgoings:

£1200 rent (but girlfriend has moved in and paying £500 per month)
£300 utilities
£285 per week CMS calculations
£80 car tax and insurance
£120 council tax

assets:

house valued at £375k
Ex’s 50% share in company
(he stated to me a few months after separation that my share was worth 60k, that the business had a value of between £200-£400k).
He now says the valuation is not relevant, won’t agree to an independent valuation (I can’t afford it and don’t have all the info).

vw van worth around £7k which he has
car worth around £1.3k which I have

he has a pension CETV value £20k

my liabilites:

13k to solicitor
7k credit union loan
£4000 credits card and overdraft
£6000 loan to my mum

his liabilities:

over 80k loan to his sister for ludicrous legal fees which he seeks to recover from me by claiming I have no share in the business, seeking costs orders continually etc

I am unsure how I can make an open proposal without accurate information regarding the business, a true valuation of his pension etc.

I am not able to work currently due to caring for our 13 year old and homeschooling the 15 year old. (By mutual agreement).

Anyone have any advice in terms of house split, spousal maintenance etc?

I will stay in the home with the children, but am worried I will have no way to buy him out when youngest is 21. It’s only a small 3 bed terrace and kids would be very upset to lose their childhood home. I also would not be able to get a mortgage at age 53 with no career to go back to.

Any thoughts much appreciated.

Thank you!

Are you in the court process??

The priority here is security for the children.

Is staying in the FMH the cheapest option for housing you? How much equity is there? What is the outstanding mortgage??

Are there cash funds in the business or is it just an income stream??

Have you seen documents in respect of the pension, business accounts etc?? Are you joint owner of the business??

If there's missing information, it should be asked for.

My view would be that you are the one sacrificing your income prospects etc to support his ability to work and earn. He needs to recognise this and ensure you are appropriately supported now and in the future.

His debt to his sister seems excessive. It is in any case a soft loan plus it is usual for each party to pay their own costs.

Check the current cost of two bed places. This may help guide you as to the percentage share you would need to ensure you can be housed in future.

If needs be you could consider booking a legal financial consultation (via this site) to help guide you.

Hadenoughnow