Newbie-Husband owes suppliers and HMRC - wait?

Hello
Very brand new member here! Basically my husband of 14 years (together 22) has acted suspiciously with one of my very good friends who I recommended work part time to help his self employed building business as my business was getting too busy for me to help.
Before I knew it they had rented an office out as the home office wasn't good enough. I was too trusting and thought I'd keep out of it. 9 months later it transpires she's full time on a ridiculous wage, pension, and the company which was profitable and celebrating 100k in bank is suddenly only 6k in bank and owes suppliers 25k and HMRC £10-20k in tax and vat. There was far too many hours working at the office late at night so I confronted husband on inappropriate work relationship. He swears blind nothing happended but it doesn't matter as I have proof he was out having lunch with her and at her house while he lied on phone about whereabouts so that's enough to break the marriage.

She's been given the elbow and now husband thinks it's my job to jointly sort out the mess.

So my questions are:
Is it my mess? She was employed as 'business manager' and he blames her for squandering money away while he knew nothing about it (yeah right)

He is more worried about paying bits and bobs to suppliers than paying mortgage. Should I offer to pay a proportion (I can afford £15-20% per month which I want to pay direct to the mortgage company, not him)

I've offered this amount {£150-200p/m) to assist him for the last 7 weeks but he classes it as 'piddly' and not accepted.


He thinks his dad, my mum or me should bail him out as he's the victim of a con artist. We all think he should sell some aseets first to help himself before his dad (the only one who may be able to help) steps in. He has a BMW and 3-4 motorbikes he could sell but say's 'not worth it' so has done nothing.


I suspect he has given her lumps of cash to hide or gifted. Can this be brought up and looked into by anyone? Mediator?


Should I employ the local book keeper I found to draw up a payment plan to pay off suppliers and HMRC or a Mediator? He does have work coming in so I'm sure if he was sensible with proper budgeting he'd back to being straight-ish in 12-18 months.


Am I responsible for these debts? He has Ltd company and all debts are nothing to do with me.

Would I be better to wait until he's a bit more straight to divorce in order to get a better settlement?

Sorry it's sooooo longwinded,
I await advice with gratitude!