This might be a bit of a general ask...but...
I'm trying to understand what can be done about the behaviour of the other party following the imposition of an order.
This is especially where they appear to be pushing the limits of the wording of the order as a reaction to it being in place and, I believe, to the detriment of the children.
I have looked at complaints and appeal processes, but I'm not sure where this fits.
So i'm not sure of a specific aim of this post, but I'm lacking anywhere to turn and I've been appreciative of the help from this forum before (I'm trying to start to give back with my own thread replies, so I hope they're of use)...I'm looking to talk through or understand any other experiences post-order (in my case, residence).
Very brief circ's for context: 3 kids (one step for whom I have PR since 2014), split in 2020,
Decree Absolute in 2022, swiftly followed by ex petitioning a specific issue order to relocate ~175 miles away. Summer '22 - eldest (SD) kept away from me; Autumn '22 CAFCASS report published citing alienation of SD from me and SD returns, has lived with me full-time ever since (now 15yrs). 2-day hearing early 2023, SI dismissed, children remain in their current schools, shared care order in place. sons 9/10yrs reside 50/50 (ex left for 3mths then returned despite before claiming this wasn't possible). Contact remained informal but ex demanded changes annually therefore I petitioned for set contact order early 2024. Several short hearings through year - 2 with a recorder who acknowledge there was too much animosity and the case too complicated for him, 1 hearing with a judge in summer who ran out of time and effectively tossed a coin for the preferred contact pattern (ex's, based on her having 'no family support') and then back to the same recorder in October to finalise holiday contact, who opened with how disappointed he was to see us again and the threat that if we didn't resolve issues on the day, he would appoint a guardian for the children (mildly ironic as I'd asked the court to consider an advocate of some kind for the children). We left that hearing (October) with him refusing to reconsider the contact arrangement as it had been too soon after it was made (July), despite it causing clear confusion.
Sorry. That's not very brief, is it.
Behaviour of the ex has been to work to the letter of the order almost to make a point - so for example, youngest has a football match on a Sunday where handover is scheduled 11am. 'Receiving' parent decides location (I asked for this as ex had insisted on handover location near hers for the last two years); ex knows there is a match but insists on handover elsewhere at 11am which was halftime. Youngest wants to play football so I attempt to elicit dialogue over it, which is refused. I take him to football and she picks him up at halftime, which he is gutted about.
Similarly this week: ex has Christmas Day this year with family up north - I ask where they will be on handover day as I'm happy to drive and we can make arrangements to see kids' godparents up there. Inference from messages is they are 'up there' so I explain I'll arrange to collect up there. Day before, receive message they are back down here - putting me in a position of either another 350-mile round trip for the kids or cancelling plans. It appears very deliberately done.
Despite having submitted a draft order with some of my concerns about the requirement for accurate wording, what we have appears easily exploited. The manner of the recorder at the last hearing was also almost derisory, especially the mention of a guardianship (which right now I don't feel would be for the worst) and there appeared no desire other than to get us out and not have us back. It might sound churlish, but even the very basic holiday arrangements are irregular (half-terms are all the days kids aren't in school, Christmas and Easter start on the Monday and Summer on the Friday which is needlessly inconsistent and not as requested).
I just feel like I'm saddled now with a half-arsed court order that is open to exploitation (albeit within the black-and-white if it's wording) and will prejudice the children. But nobody cares.
Is there anything I can do? Or that anyone has done in similar circumstances? We have an FDR coming up (again, ex refused to engage meaningfully so I've had to petition for financial resolution which I fear is going to make things worse) and I can't see how the order we have is going to work.
Apologies again. There's a lot there but if there is anyone able to add their thoughts or have any similar questions, please reply away.
